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Friday, July 14, 2006

Dear Dr. Z

[Cue the standard-issue anglo with crew cut, ballcap and Oakley shades]

Dear Dr. Z -

Does the new Dodge RAM have increased capacity for turning a motorcycle into an unidentifiable, smoking pile of twisted metal and plastic? And if so, would it be possible to coat and reinforce the grille so that no cosmetic damage occurs? I've found that a direct, head-on collision is far more effective than a perpendicular approach.

Jason in Bloomfield Hills


[scene shifts to a backyard barbecue in a leafy neighborhood]

Jason, we invented Forward-Looking Infrared Radar! This gives you the ability to lock on to zese pesky motorradists day or nacht! And with 36" of ground clearance, the cyclist is guaranteed to get sucked into at least one of several large, exposed, rotating drivetrain components. Also working in your favor is our patented turn signal auto-shutoff circuitry, which renders turn signals inoperative whenever a two-wheeled vehicle of any kind is detected within 200 meters.

Oh, and about your grille. Where do I put zis case of bratwurst?



Blogger She-Mantis said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

12:37 PM  
Blogger She-Mantis said...

The ad campaign alluded to here has got to be one of the worst ever. On par with D.O.C., even. Dr. Z is a germanic Richard Golden. Next up: "dancing" and zexy everything, and all the family members he can wedge into one small tv spot.

p.s. Sorry, couldn't live with my typo and had to abort.

12:39 PM  

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